The problem with summer reading

My favorite/least favorite part about preparing for vacation is picking out books for the trip.

After I shuttle myself to the Columbus Public Library (aka "The Greatest Public Library in the History of Forever") I have to confront several pressing issues:

1. How many books am I actually going to read? I don't want to overestimate and end up packing 15 books for a week-long trip, but, to me, there is nothing worse than running out of reading material halfway through the trip (see Schedler family vacation to Kiawah, SC, 8/2006) and having to sit bored off my ass while everyone else savors their choice books.

Several attempts at a mathematical formula to accurately predict number of books necessary for a given trip have failed.

2. Even more difficult, what books do I pick?

In the summer, I always find myself debating an appropriate level of mental engagement for a given book.

I could easily go into fluff mode, and I have done this several times. But I always end up feeling dirty halfway through the books, like I am cheating on my brain or something. Last year's tryst with Jennifer Weiner's In Her Shoes is a prime example.

Or I could go hardcore, but, seriously, who wants to read Great Expectations on the beach?

NPR is currently polling visitors to their Web site about their favorite summer reads and will compile a list at the end of the month. Right now, they're narrowing a list of 100 finalists down to 10 best-ever beach books.

Just in time for my staycation.

An Ode to Ms. Collesano, an Awesome Woman

Yes, this is an ode to Ms. Collesano, the best senior high school English teacher ever. Sorry, I don't care about your sob-story, changed-your-life senior English teacher - Ms. Collesano was cut-throat and sweet. If you were wrong, she would just write: No. on your paper. If you said something really dumb, she would underline it. She didn't play.

Anywho, the woman LOVED all things po-mo. Ergo, so did the rest of the Manual English kids (i.e. those not smart enough to do math and science and those not gifted enough to play an instrument in YPAS). And here, in honor of Sue, is a list from the LA Times of 61 essential po-mo reads.

Which ones have you read? Want to read?

Anne of Green Gables Goes Goth

OK, not really. But apparently, the final book in the series is going to be re-released in its entirety - and it's a lot darker. The book will revolve around:

"adultery, illegitimacy, misogyny, revenge, murder, despair, bitterness, hatred, and death – usually not the first terms associated with LM Montgomery."

That sounds like an interesting read. Read the full article in the Guardian.

OMG VLOG IN M-W ROTFL!!

Merriam-Webster has added more than 100 words to its latest dictionary. At first, when reading a news article about it, I was like “Woo! Where can I see these words? I need to expand my ever growing vernacular.”

Some of the entries include acai (small, berrylike fruit for fatties), haram (foods forbidden under Islamic law) and Reggaeton (rap and Caribbean rhythms). But among the 100 entries are also frenemy, staycation, vlog and webisode.

I can understand webisode and vlog (kind of). With the Interwebs changing constantly and online media skyrocketing, it makes sense. But c’mon, frenemy? Really?

The word frenemy (pretending to be a friend when in fact, you’re an enemy) apparently dates back to the ’70s. But when I hear the word frenemy, I think of Mean Girls and Paris Hilton. OK, I liked Mean Girls. Don’t get me wrong. The movie was a hit because it had instant catch phrases such as “Boo, you whore.” But just because words are being said across the Internet, in the movies and between slutty heiresses and her “BFFs” doesn’t mean it should be in the dictionary.

But the real question becomes what makes a word important enough to be in the dictionary? If you go to m-w.com and type in “lol” in the search engine, the return result is “laughing out loud.” But where does this stop?

According to the Guardian article about the new entries, about one-fifth of the new entries are technology related. So when will the word “tweet” be known for something other than the sound a bird makes? How about “ROFL” (rolling on the floor laughing)?

I’m all for advancing the Web and what not, but if we’re going as far as adding words such as frenemy and staycation, then we should also be open to adding words such as “ROFLCOPTER,” “LOLERSKATES,” “totes” and “obvs.”

There’s always going to be some schmuck who says something dumb, it catches on and becomes an instant catchphrase. But that doesn’t mean it should be in the dictionary.

Great Books for Grade School Kids (Mainly Girls)

In his column for the NYTimes, Nicholas Kristof gave his list of summer reads for kids. Now, while everyone is entitled to their opinion, I have to say I thought his list was severely lacking. So I have come up with my own.

I gobbled books as a grade schooler, and here's some that will demonstrate why:

1. Sounder - This was basically my favorite book as a child. It was the first chapter book my mom read to me, and I read it seven times in one year. Spoiler alert: Sad dog story.

But it's way better than Old Yeller. Based on a true story, it introduces young readers to themes of racism, poverty and the importance of family and education.

2. To Kill A Mockingbird - I am naming my firstborn Harper. This is one of the best books ever, and no one should forget it. Plus, it's a great read for the summer when the air's humid and heavy.

Don't miss out on the movie with Gregory Peck either.

3. Junie B. Jones - These books were my younger sister's favorite series as a first-grader. And luckily, as the older sister, I got to pretend I was just listening/reading because I was benevolent.

Realistically, this book will only appeal to a hip, female crowd, but older brothers and dads can just do what I did.

4. Sideways Stories from Wayside School - This Louis Sachar essential series follows the strange happening of students at Wayside School, with each chapter telling one kid's weird tale (or one weird kid's tale).

Hint: Don't be misinformed. The school is 30 stories high - it's just missing floor 19.

5. Little House on the Prairie - What American girl grows up without Laura Ingalls Wilder? I recommend the entire series, but this book is best for summer. With parties, horses and, of course, covered wagons, this is a great adventure book for girls.

6. From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler - A story of a runaway 11-year-old and her brother who make a home in the MOMA. After learning how to blend in to their prestigious surroundings, the two discover a mystery about Michaelangelo. (But it is believeable and doesn't suck like the DaVinci Code).

7. Stuart Little - A mouse. That I like. The end.

When they are finished, they can even watch the movie, which is tolerable and has that cute kid from "Jerry Maguire."

8. Dear America series - Yes, as a kid I was a history buff. So sue me. These beautifully designed books were written as diary entries or letters. They were interesting and mostly historically accurate. Plus, they tend to show a more diverse view than the American Girl books, although neither, as far as I know, include as Asian narrator (although a concurrent series, the Royal Diaries, does).

There are also books from the male perspective called the My Name is America series, but they are all soldiers as far as I know. Also won't discuss social implications of the two series titles. For my one reader with a kid on the way, I suggest giving that MA native the Dear America Patience Whipple (about a voyage on the Mayflower) book at about age nine, assuming precociousness is an inevitable hereditary trait. Hoorah.


There. There are eight books your school-aged kids can read when they've finished all 10,000 pages of the Harry Potter series in two weeks and are drooling in front of the Wii.

What would you add?

Hemingway Worked for KGB

A new book published by Yale University Press, outs Ernest Hemingway as a spy for the KGB during the 1940s. He expressed diligent willingness to serve the Soviets, but unsurprisingly garnered little to no political information and was dropped.

Read the full story about Agent Argo from The Guardian.

Amazon Seeks Patent for Placing Ads in Books

While reading, I try to separate myself from the industrial/corporate world. I don't want to think about work, my groceries, the things I need to buy but can't afford. But that might end soon, as Amazon seeks to patent placing ads in books. (Now glad I didn't blow my wad on a Kindle).

In a column for CrunchGear, Devin Coldewey speculates that they will probably limit this to reduced-price books to keep Kindle newbies from feeling betrayed.

But, they have left a loophole for themselves with the potential to extend this to print editions of the content. Not sure exactly how that would work now since Kindle downloads aren't printable (so far as I know).

Aside from just being très gauche, this could also cause problems for holdouts (i.e. independent publishers, small presses) down the line.

Ads in books? Also read this column by Michael Klurfeld in TechGeist - if it's annoying but you get books for free, is it worth it? And how will Amazon negotiate this with publishers who offer Kindle-friendly e-books?